Ever hear about someone eating something spicy, and oncethey get the spices down, it makes them start sweating?

Well, the other day I was eating lunch with a friend of mine-- Mexican food -- and immediately after gobbling down somehot salsa, sweat starts pouring down my buddy's face, likehe was a fat man in a sauna.

The truth is, sometimes in anticipation of you crossing thefinish line on a project you're working on, your mindbecomes filled with anxiety and fears -- and suddenly YOUstart sweating.

Some of your fears will be real ("What if your projectfails?")... and... some of them will simply be perceived("What will my significant other think of me?" and...ironically, "What if your project fails?").

Steven Pressfield, in his book, The War Of Art, calls thesefears, thoughts and worries, "Resistance".

And "sensing" Resistance, is actually a good thing.

See, when you feel resistance slowly creeping its way intothe back of your mind, it usually means you're about to dosomething with explosive potential -- maybe something thatwill even change your life forever.

Hockey great Wayne Gretsky once said, "You miss 100% of theshots you never take."

So start shooting, and don't be afraid.

My mentor once told me, most of the fears that spend theirtime preoccupying your thoughts (and wasting your time),have all been created, from the ground up, by you -- inside the walls of your own mind.

So don't let all these silly notions and all that othernegative B.S. hold you back.

I know, just as well as you do, that these "bad" thoughtsusually start playing themselves over-and-over again in theback of your mind, like some kind of vicious broken taperecorder... usually at the times you LEAST need to hear them.

Don't worry though.

It's just Resistance telling you you're getting a little outof your comfort zone, and that you're on the right track.

So start taking your shots, and don't be so afraid -- evenif you are sweating like the fat man in the sauna.

Now go sell something,

Craig Garber
http://www.KingOfCopy.com

P.S. Check out all the prior archives you've beenmissing, right here at:http://www.kingofcopy.com/tips/tiparchives.html

I love people, so lets get that right out of the way. Therefore, Im not anti-social: it's more like selectively non-social. Whats the difference? Well, let me describe my previous life. I was married to a social butterfly. My wife liked company all the time.

Not that I wasnt a good partner, its just that there was only one of me. She preferred multiple contacts in every situation possible. We began going to church shortly after my daughter was born. But we did more than simply attend: we got involved. That meant, becoming members of various groups. The Bible-study group, the newcomers group, the planning committee and so forth. Not only did we go to Sunday service, we had additional meetings every week. This continued for several years. During that time, she also got us into neighbor watch programs, Bunko groups and work-related events. Every weekend meant a new commitment at our house or someone elses.

I had to adapt to this new lifestyle where our social-base grew exponentially at an alarming rate. We barely had a free evening for time by ourselves. My wife reveled in her friends and enjoyed the chance to talk and mingle. I was content to follow her lead and joined in the fray. But it took its toll. Initially I didnt mind the whirlwind interactions and found many of our friends interesting and compatible.

But not everyone. I found I didnt mesh with some of the church people. Oh, I was accepted, but with whom I had nothing in common. This was true for a proportion of some of our neighbors. They were polite and accommodating, but not really interested in us as friends. Perhaps our social status or other issues muddied the waters. In any regard, we werent quite up to their standards.

At various parties, we or they would host, I noticed that I would ask them a slew of questions about their work or life without a single question about myself coming in return. This occurred with an increasing frequency. Conversations were always about their latest exploits or work. They talked about their travels. They talked about their children. They talked about their hopes, dreams, and successes. If I even attempted to interject something about myself, it was tolerated for mere moments until they lost interest. Then it was back to their world.

I know that this goes on for everyone reading this article. Its just that perhaps its a best-kept secret no one likes to admit or discuss. I realized how much I began to dread the endless social scene when we changed churches and got even more involved, if it were possible. We were founding members and threw ourselves into every aspect of that institution. We helped with fundraising, activities, the music, the administration, the search for a new building, and the promotion. We were part of many groups and our social endeavors widened even farther.

Now I practically had no individual life and was ruled by a calendar. If it was Friday, it was the Jones. Saturday, the Smiths. Sunday was church, followed by a church lunch. Then Bible study in the afternoon. Wednesday was Bunko night, Thursday a birthday party, friends retirement or anniversary. Add in just plain dinner parties every weekend and there you have it. I was not relishing the days that were flashing by filled with a sea of faces, small talk, hor douvres, and constant chatter. I was burned out.

Then tragedy struck out of nowhere. My wife died and everything changed in an instant.

Its now years later, and Im lucky enough to have found a new love and remarried. I miss some of the old friends but none of the hectic pace. My first wife loved the social gatherings and I thank her for the journey into that life. But now I have a few select friends I really care about and thats okay with me. The days of endless socializing are done and Ive moved on. I imagine there are other people that can relate to my account and I have some words of wisdom. I went along with my wifes way of living because I loved her and it made her happy. That was my mission as a good husband. But I could change anything, I would have made my position known years ago and perhaps spared myself of many uncomfortable situations. So talk to your significant other if you are trapped in a social quagmire and dont be afraid to be honest. I promise, theyll still be your friend.